Yoga journaling

I've had this beautiful journal for more than a year now just sitting, not sure what to use it for.

I'm not big on taking time out each day and letting my thoughts flow, even if they are private thoughts.

In any event, I was recently reading an online yoga forum where someone posted about Yoga Journaling.

I have touched upon this on here in the past but I thought this was a really cool, more personal way to advance my practice and continue to make the connections from my mat to real life.

The format to follow is suggested as:

Date/Place of Practice

Today's Intention

Teacher

Goals for Practice

Successes/What I am Grateful for

Thoughts/Struggles/Solutions

I started last night by documenting my studio class earlier that day.

My plan is to get yoga in at home or work and document it if I can't make it to the studio that day.

Even a few minutes of yoga is still yoga ;).

Mosaic butterflies journal

~Cultural myth and lore honor the butterfly as a symbol of transformation because of its impressive process of metamorphosis.~

Just need to get thru today + tomorrow

I took today off from work.

I am part of an organization that aims at the betterment of our town and tomorrow is our huge annual fundraiser.

There's a lot of set up and running around involved later today so I said let me treat myself by taking the day.

This actually has still turned into seeing clients in the beginning half of my day however (one for my FT job, I'm just getting paid for that hour, the other is a makeup for my PT position).

My sleep has been off this week so I can't wait until tomorrow night around 7 pm when all of this is over and I can get back to a somewhat less hectic life.

But not really. 

It is the holidays after all.

I kind of am not a big fan at all and really wish we could just fast forward to January instead...

A Quick Update

for those of you who have been following my Celiac's saga....it's been a couple weeks now that I've had wheat out of my system and I honestly feel pretty amazing.

And this is coming from someone who only got checked out at the urging of family, not that I thought I had any major symptoms of the disease.

Some of the things I have learned so far:

There are a ton of foods you can still eat. Including items that aren't specifically recreated as "gluten free".

Thanksgiving was actually great this year for this reason and it's honestly been the first time in as long as I can remember that I didn't eat a big meal and afterwards immediately feel blah.

You can also still order a fast food cheeseburger, but order it wrapped in lettuce.  We did this over the weekend with Five Guys and it really hit the spot.  With their endless brown bag of fries, I guarantee you will not even miss the bun.

Telling people is still kind of awkward but many are intrigued, yet overly supportive.  I found this at my yoga studio over the weekend.

My biggest challenge right now is upcoming holiday work dinners out with my boss and team. Most things are pre-ordered at Italian restaurants and I don't want to necessarily tell everyone and call attention to myself.

So I'm still figuring out what to do about this.

I'm also cooking a lot more at home now which means lots of good leftovers for work.

Other than that....I'm sad as always how quickly the long weekend flew by.

I'm onto yet another crazy week and even crazier weekend.

Thank goodness for 3 days in a row at the studio. With my schedule this week, I may not make it back to my mat until at least Sunday.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday and let's hope this week goes easy on us all.

I get it now

I'm starting to get used to my new eating issues but I have to say I'm realizing more and more the impact food has on one's life.

And some people honestly don't realize (or seem to care) if you have a food allergy.

A few people I've told seem to downplay it and make no secret of talking about all I'm missing out on and savoring something in front of me. "You sure you don't want a piece of this cake? What about scraping off the icing?".

There's also people who don't even respond or seem annoyed if you tell them. (Like people choose this to be difficult or do it for attention).

I have a few clients who have food allergies or who are just triggered by food in different ways.

The more I am learning about my illness, the more I am understanding.

So yeah I have Celiacs...

I got the phone call from the specialist's office just as we were about to slice into a cake at work the other day because that is Murphy's law.

I have spent most of the weekend researching and purchasing things I can eat.

TBH, I don't think it's going to be that bad. 

A little bit of a healthy lifestyle change which is always a good thing.

My sister also has it (main reason I got checked, not that I noticed any major symptoms, at least nothing I initially contributed to this) so she has been a huge help in guiding me.

I made my first gluten free pizza this weekend and my husband actually did not notice a difference.

I also picked up lots of fruits, veggies, and yogurt this weekend and made a pot of chili and rice.

Eating out is going to be the major prob, because of cross-contamination.

I think I experienced this already when I ate out over the weekend and ordered something fried.

But from what I have read up on, almost 95% of food we eat can be made gluten free.

I was also advised to stay away from GF products in general, unless a special treat. They are super pricy and usually packed with additives.

So this is my "news".

Loving that I finally have a short week though.

We will be headed into Manhattan Wednesday night to watch them blow up the parade balloons and then we are traveling north to see the fam for a couple days.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

TGIF

and super thankful for coffee this morning.

My son woke me up in the middle of the night, I had a hard time falling back to sleep, took some melatonin with a side of Law & Order and boom.....my alarm went off.

It's also been a very long but very short week if that makes sense.

I did get a lot accomplished and *knock on wood* all is good with most of my clients and I haven't left work feeling defeated at all this week.

The goal for this weekend is to actually get back to the studio. 

I feel like I've been majorly slacking in self-care. I think I only made it there once last weekend.

Oh and definitely more long walks.  I've only taken one this week--two of you count Halloween which isn't the same thing with my son in tow.

I'm cherishing this next 20 minutes of quiet before I need to start my Friday.  I wish it would last longer...

Itchy for change

I don't think I will leave my job anytime soon, but I got a posting forwarded to me yesterday that was very intriguing.

What rocked me back to reality is the cons of such a role and the fact that I am on the PSLF track with my student loans right now since I work for a non-profit.

I may still apply though just for shits and giggles.

I also think I want to hire someone to rewrite my resume.  It's so ancient looking. 

How the heck is it November already?

Another Halloween has come and gone and all I have left to show for it is a bunch of sweets to make me fatter :).

That aside....it's so great to see the joy of this holiday through my child's eyes.

And he was so polite and sweet, thanking everyone who gave him candy and wishing them a happy Halloween.

He is growing into such a nice young man.

I was recently having the conversation with friends, that as challenging as he can be at home sometimes, at school, his activities, and generally in public where it counts---he is so good, and this is really the goal we have as parents, right?

I'm kind of rambling this morning, but I'm also stopping to reflect on all that I am grateful for.

Our days often feel so long, but our years fly by so fast.

As I said....how the heck is it November already?!

Finally feeling somewhat back to normal

Hoping that I can take on Monday afterall.

Last week was a very rough week.

It ended on a very stressful note with clients and staff.

I would like to leave all that in the past though.

I think this morning I'm going to talk about acceptance in one of my groups.

And we're supposed to have pizza for lunch.

Monday can never be bad if you are having pizza for lunch, right?

Still hanging on to this cold or whatever it is

I finally pushed myself to go to yoga yesterday, sole purpose to rid my body of sickness.

It was a great class and I felt better until I started coughing uncontrollably.

I ended up stepping out for the rest of the session because I didn't want to disrupt anyone else's practice.

Afterwards my teacher gave me tips of glands I should be massaging to help ease congestion.

I had the opportunity to go to class this morning too but decided to just take it easy and catch up on some errands.

I'm so glad I listened to my body.

The weather is beautiful today so I sat outside in the sunshine and fresh air for a bit and it's been exactly what I needed.

The studio will be there another day.

Also looking forward to my vacation in the spring! I bit the bullet and booked a cruise. Sailing out of New York to the Bahamas the first week of April before the prices go up. I booked the cheapest package possible (interior).

And although the pressure is there.....Decided that I'm going to keep what we have now since it will easily be paid off and if I have the $$ closer to the trip, we will consider upgrades.

After Disney two years in a row, I need to take a break from expensive vacations. 

Supposed to head over to family later for dinner and I'm seriously contemplating remaining in my yoga pants.

I hope I am feeling much better for work tomorrow.  Another crazy week is almost upon me.

In sickness & in health

I'm certainly not death-bed sick but could so totally use one day off to just lie in bed and rest and not interact with humans. I've only cancelled one obligation so far this week though because of guilt or whatever.

I feel like I need to push myself to go into work.  Probably my own control issues.

I'm expected at a community service event tonight and I'm dreading going.

If I feel this way later though I think I will need to bite the bullet and say no and take the night for me.

Does anyone else have trouble with self-care?

Perfect being back

With my new crazy schedule (I'm seeing a few clients now in addition to FT job) and just life things going on, I realized I haven't been to the studio in 2 weeks. This feels like an eternity when you're used to going at least 2-3x each week.

I made it a goal to get back today and I was so glad I did.

Not perfect postures, but it was the perfect class and I now feel so refreshed and alive.

Another student also told me I look really great.

I needed to hear this because I've felt very blah lately. I had a doctors appointment yesterday and they weighed me and I didn't like what I heard.

Tonight going to a house party to visit a bunch of people I haven't seen in a very long time, so it should be nice.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to attend my first Out of the Darkness suicide walk.

A friend who is involved told me about it and I thought it would be a supportive way to help one of my clients who lost a loved one to this.

My goal is really to just walk around the resource booths to find out what kinds of services exist in this area.

Anyways, I hope you all are having a lovely weekend and maybe even getting some yoga in too.

Who covers for you at work?

Trying to plan vacation for the spring to make life easier on everyone (not to mention I'd be happy going away sooner), but learned last night if we keep this vacation time, I'd need to pay the trip off in full the day after Christmas.

Um, don't think that's happening.

BTW, anyone take a cruise to the Bahamas with a child lately?

Looking for feedback...

Well I made it thru Monday....

My student meeting wasn't as terrible as I made it out to be in my brain.

I have one after work client out of the way for the week.

It's Tuesday and I have a fun group activity planned that I came up with on my drive to see my client yesterday.

Anyone remember that song from the 90s Wear Sunscreen?

Still have much to do but for some reason, when Monday is over, life doesn't seem so overwhelming.

Fingers crossed I make it back to my mat this week too.

Yoga attendance started out great this month but that has slowly ended.

I also don't think I've taken an evening walk in awhile either.

Wanted to last night but there were no street lamps on and I'm chicken with the rumor of the clowns running around lol.

I need a 3rd weekend day

I'm so not in the mood to go into work today.

I have lots of student drama going on and I just don't feel like dealing with it.

My feelings at this point basically are, if you aren't happy, move on.

Let's not be all "social workey" and try to talk it out.

I also have about 12345678910 things on my plate right now outside of work so this isn't helping my mood.

I need a vacation from life.

Reflecting back on my blog, I see this has become a pattern.

My new thing

Is taking evening walks around my neighborhood.

Very relaxing and you never know who or what you will see after the sun has gone down.

I wish I could yoga each evening but this is too hard to do at home and it's often a PITA to go to the studio during the work week.

I love being out in the fresh air though, moving my body and clearing my head.

It's pretty much the same effect as being on my mat.

Coffee

I worry when my coffee doesn't taste great first thing on a Monday morning.

Is this a bad sign? LOL.

Cheers to having a relaxing weekend though.

A yoga class on Sat+Sun.

Was feeling a cold coming on yesterday (it hurt a little to breathe!) and by the end of opening breathing in class I felt fine again.

I really believe this yoga works for so many things we struggle with in life.

I'm putting it in writing that it's my goal to be at the studio this week on Wed, Thurs, Fri.

Happy Monday all!

Getting my inner color back

I picked up some shimmery colored pencils yesterday at Five Below originally to use at work this week.  On a whim though this afternoon I passed a stack of my own coloring books on a shelf in my kitchen I probably haven't opened in a few months.  So I've been sitting on my back deck for the past hour soaking up the sun and working on an easy Mandala with the new pencils.  Forgot how much I love to color...especially when I'm NOT at work.  And coloring really does help to ease all kinds of anxiety. 

Need a vacation from a vacation

I've been stressed and overwhelmed since we've gotten back from Disney this past weekend.

There's just not enough hours in the day.

I am looking forward to the weekend and hopefully catching up on all I need to.

Speaking of the butterflies....

I had to go for some uncomfortable testing yesterday and when I laid back and looked at the ceiling, there was a butterfly and 2 Angels painted on the ceiling.

I think someone was looking out for me ;).

Thanks D.

Does anyone blog anymore?

I know it's something I don't do often.

Usually because I don't feel I have anything all that interesting to talk about.

Every now and again I will look at my blog list links and realize people who used to post constantly have not written in a year or even more.

I guess this is the result of life happening.

Sometimes it's a shame though, because they had really interesting content and were good at their craft.

I'm sure it's probably difficult making that work look so easy though.

I just realized....

that I've always had a love of butterflies and always found them comforting. 

Things will be okay.

I am loving that this has been my sign. Twice.

Tomorrow

Is the day for our dog.

I've been kind of ignoring this for the past week since I scheduled the appointment.

I went to yoga class this afternoon and again this weighed heavily on my mind.

I asked for another sign that I was making the right decision.

On the way home, a song came on the radio about being guided by wild Angels. 

When I got to my house, I opened the mailbox and out flew one of those white butterflies again....

I guess it's time.

Ending suffering

So I've been struggling with a tough decision these past few days.

My pug, who is 12, seems to be off lately.

As it is, we have to do almost everything for him because he is blind and no longer moves around much.

He has started to lose a ton of weight though, eating and just walking has become more difficult.

It has been my hope that he will just pass peacefully in his sleep but so far I don't see that happening.

I had a bunch of family over this weekend who haven't seen him in awhile who recommended it is time to probably take him and put him to rest.

One of them even offered to do it while I am at work so it would be easier. I have been kind of avoiding making a decision at all and told them I would let them know after the holiday weekend.

When I went to yoga yesterday, my dog came into my mind most of the class.  At one point I remembered that part of his name means freedom.  When I was presented with this thought, I realized that freedom also means letting go; to put the end to pain and suffering.  At the end of class I laid on my mat for a bit at peace with my decision that one day very soon it would be okay to let him be free. 

When I got up from my mat to leave, I looked out the window and there was a white butterfly on the glass.

I took this as a definite sign as well that it is almost time.

He has been having a hard time with even recognizing and accepting touch lately but here is a pic he let me take of him yesterday.

Have I said how much I love the yoga community?

I got an email last night from another student at my studio that made my night....my week even.

It's such an amazing, supportive community.

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this practice 6 years ago.

6!!!

That's crazy.

Feels like I've been going forever and it's such a part of me now.

Gorilla mom

Wherever I go, this seems to be the talk this week.

All I can say is I had a very rough day with my son last night at his baseball game. So while I had been saying this all week anyway about the story, I can again really relate to the mother of that little boy.

You never know what shit kids are going to pull in public.

I've also never been so embarassed and mortified after last night,  and it would not surprise me if the situation ended up on our local Facebook mom's group--at the very least.

Tired

Today will be a super lazy day.

We went to the beach all day yesterday for a Memorial Day airshow and the sun wore me out completely.

I didn't sleep well last night, so slept in and missed yoga today. (Studio was only open for morning classes).

Only things on my radar today are to shower, pick up some groceries, laundry and cleaning of course.

My studio is also offering another summer challenge in June & July so I signed up.

My goal is to try to do 20 classes in one of the months.

But overall, I hope the challenge will help me maintain my 3 classes a week as this has ebbed and flowed this month too due to the busyness of life.

I also just ordered new bands for my FitBit.

I have not missed one day of 10k steps since I got it, and usually average 12k steps.

Get yourself one of these if you need a shove in being more mindful about your physical activity.

Lastly, 89 days to Disney!

I'm not allowed to do the countdown in my house though, because this means summer is over and it's only just begun!!

We actually considered this weekend reconfigurating our trip and renting out vacation club points so we could afford to stay at the Poly, but so far everything seems to be booked. 

Either way I know we will have a fantastic time and we have "free" dining currently.

Hope your summer is off to a good start too :).

Weird day

So yesterday I was out and about and ran into an old co-worker who used to torture me at my last job.

I was cordial though, and said hello, and we chatted for a few minutes.

It was interesting to me to see they are still there, despite their constant complaining about wanting to get out and find a new job. I also felt really peaceful after we parted, that I can put that part of my life to rest. I wasn't bothered by them anymore.

There also must've been something else going on in the universe yesterday too, because this woman who goes to my yoga studio, an ex-reality star in fact!, who everyone typically avoids like the plague due to her annoying behaviors....sat down by me and started chatting.

Actually normal stuff. And she even paid me a compliment.

I actually felt bad after that and this made me realize you never really know someone's full story, or why they react the way they do in certain situations.

I guess both of these encounters are proof of that.

Just checking in

So I've been MIA for awhile, but not really.

As usual, life has been somewhat routine and I just don't have anything much to talk about.

I did finally fall into the FitBit craze which has become nothing short of amazing for my motivation level and participation in getting my body moving. I cannot recommend this device enough. I bought the cheapest model they sell on Amazon....the Flex.   Have been competing in several challenges and they really help push me to my edge. Sometimes I find myself dancing in place a la Elaine from Seinfeld to stay in the Top 3 LOL. 

Still also trying to keep up with my yoga 3x a week. For the most part, this is easy to do, but some weeks are busier than others and I have to accept getting to the studio less.

Work has continued to be kind to me.  I'm actually approaching my 3rd anniversary.  Major thing going on is trying to increase our volume.  We've lost several clients for various reasons so our stats have gone down. We also decided to stop providing services for NYC clients so this has created a lull in new referrals.  Hoping that things will change in the next few months, but I am also enjoying having slower days.  Especially because I'm wrapping up with my students and I won't have extra help for a few months ;).

Anyways, I'm totally looking forward to the summer.  Also counting down to a little over a 100 days until we leave for Disney!!

What's new with you?

Learning to say no

I have an offer to do PT work again.

Most of it can be done at home.

I told the person I would get back to them.

And while we could definitely use the money, after having a nice relaxing weekend, I think I'm going to say Thanks but no thanks.

Between all my son's activities, working FT and just wanting "me" time....especially with summer coming....adding more to my plate for an extra paycheck each month just doesn't seem worth it.

It was a timely reminder of all that is good in my life.

I got two yoga classes in this weekend.

And spent two afternoons in the sun just coloring.

Budget, I need to work on you again too.....

Happy Monday all!

So I got the best news

I said a post back or so on here that I needed to let this challenge go and just focus on getting in my 3 classes a week.

And for the most part I'm fine with that. I've even done I think 3 classes since I last wrote on here.

But I got the best news since I last checked in, and the idea actually came to me on my mat.

I had been thinking how hard it is to get to class during the week. Because of my schedule I really can only make it to the 8pm.  With working FT though, and getting home almost 2 hours before, most nights the last thing I want to do is head out to yoga at 8:00 no matter how great if feels once I'm there.

I thought how amazing it would be if I could do the 6 pm more regularly. This would allow me to have time with my son at night, eat a normal dinner and go to bed at a non-ridiculous hour.  A friend at work also recently commented that I'm at work way before my shift and way after my clients leave for the day.  And even though my schedule is set by the health system I work for, I should ask about leaving early. 

So I did.

At first my supervisor said "we will have to talk about it and see".  Less than 30 minutes later I got a nice email that my schedule was changed starting yesterday, thank you for working hard and that I deserved this.

And can I just say what a difference getting out just a half hour makes! I miss all the volume of rush hour traffic, and am home in around 40 minutes.  I had time yesterday to let the dog out and chill a bit and then get to the studio with plenty of time to spare.

It's such a little thing but such an amazing difference for my life.

So as usual, I would like to thank my boss for this positive change but most of all, my mat for bringing the idea to the surface.

Reality

I got class 17 in a week ago.

But because of life commitments, I'm shamed to say I haven't been back to the studio since then.

So I'm making my goal a little less lofty and focusing again on making it there 3x a week.

For the most part, I have been doing some kind of daily exercise/movement at least, even if it's not yoga, which is more than I was doing before, so go me.

19+18

Got two classes in this weekend. For that I am proud.

Saturday my head was in a really good place and I was able to really focus during class, despite any distractions going on around me.  That was such an awesome feeling. Focusing and getting into a zone during Bikram is probably one of the biggest challenges of this yoga.  I did come home and ended up crashing, even sleeping past 8am on Sunday which never happens.

I had plans to get a double in that morning but my body was just not up for it.  I needed my morning and early afternoon to recharge, not to mention catch up on all my normal Sunday things. Like laundry and grocery shopping. I always feel stressed if I don't have these things done before I focus on myself.

The 3pm yesterday was a good class, but I was in a different mind and body space. My balance was off, my bum knee was hurting and my mind kept drifting.  But the heat also wasn't super intense and I was able to get thru every pose, which can be rare some days.

I also got some coloring in on Saturday.  The print I'm working on is very detailed so it will probably take me a few more days to complete.

It's now Monday and I'm tired but I'm planning to attend yoga tonight no matter what.  I am already feeling a positive transformation, especially with the wellness stuff I've been doing through work, and want to keep that going.

One of the work studies at my studio randomly told me yesterday I looked like I lost weight and I just seemed much healthier.....

Not super exciting

for most out there, but I started another 20 challenge last night.

Wasn't able to make first two nights in March because my husband worked late and I needed to be with my son.

We also are doing a wellness challenge at work, so I've been doing some kind of exercise or relaxation activity daily.

It's been super motivating, I incorporate into my client groups and I really look forward to this stuff.  I came up with an impromtu silly for my clients yesterday...We painted a group mural with feet, hands or some kind of object if one didn't want to touch the paint. Almost everyone participated and were feeling better after the session because it was so ridiculous.

I even last minute brought a work friend to yoga with me last night for her first class.

Of course I'm dragging today because of less sleep (major con of weeknight classes), but it's Friday.  

Did you get in anything relaxing this week? Did you do anything impromtu and silly?

I hope you find time for something wellness-related over the weekend.

1 down, 19 to go....

NOLA

Forgot to say I recently went on a quick trip here.

I'll repeat what I've told everyone IRL when they ask me how I enjoyed it.

The food was out of this world.

Loved the coffee and the muffuletta was the best sandwich of my life.

The tours we went on were pretty amazing.

Seeing area still affected by Katrina was very humbling and I got very emotional.

Architecture was something I never saw before and loved that too.

Everything is also fantastic during the daytime.

BUT....the whole seedy vibe just turned me off.  

Feel how you feel about the police, but there is NO presence of them in this town and it really shows.

It wasn't even the few homeless/mentally ill that bothered me.

It was the whole hustle scene and not being able to walk down practically any street without being hassled by a hipster. People also do hard drugs right out in the open, same as if they were drinking coffee, so that's kind of disturbing as well if you aren't ever around that.

I'm glad we went but I don't think I'd go back.

Bourbon Street is totally gross and is definitely a place where people who have had terrible things that happened to them in life....well....go to die.  

It's a very sad, eye-opening experience.

New Orleans is a city that makes the average person appreciate the day to day issues they struggle with in life.

I think I liked Vegas better believe it or not.  

Next quick couples trip I am aiming for somewhere on the West Coast.

Relaxing weekend

I've spent most of my weekend doing relaxing things.

Which for me means adult coloring & yoga class.

Who could ask for a better weekend?

Still have a ways to go on each of these prints but will probably bring to work and color alongside some of my clients.

This week starts a wellness challenge at my company so I'm planning to spin that into my groups at my agency.

What are some of your favorite things to do to relax? Anything that you also enjoy doing with your clients if you're a social worker? 

P.S. I picked up this book and some of the markers for under $5 each at Five Below.  This is one of my favorite stores, and a great resource for social work supplies ;).

Ha ha

My old yoga mat magically reappeared yesterday.

It was on the side of our house, on top of a pile of siding that will eventually be going onto our home.

Since it's clear no one stole it, I rolled it up and put it in the back of my Jeep for safe-keeping.

Or to hopefully loan out if anyone new decides to join me for yoga in the near future who doesn't own a mat.

Speaking of new---I recently got a friend to join me, and she attended her 3rd class yesterday, and is loving it so far.  She even comes from far away and is talking about buying a package to use on the weekends. This is the best feeling....introducing someone to the yoga and them finding it meaningful enough to continue, despite the obstacles to make it TO as well as IN the hot room.

I'm off from work today so hoping to hit the studio later.

I went to class on Sat & Sun so if I make it tonight, I can count this class towards my 3-a-week goal.

My yoga mat just disappeared

I often hang my yoga mats on my front porch to "air out" after class.

I've had a $5 yoga mat hanging there for about a week or so.

I came home from work the other day and it wasn't there. 

It hadn't blown off the rail like it has before.

My only thought is someone must've swiped it.

I'm definitely not mad or anything.

While this was one of my favorite mats because of the pattern, I actually bought myself a thicker, more quality mat last week, that I've been keeping in my car.

And I still have at least 2 or 3 other mats around my house.

I hope this is the universe's way of bringing the yoga to someone who truly needs it.