Monday, July 4, 2016

Ending suffering

So I've been struggling with a tough decision these past few days.

My pug, who is 12, seems to be off lately.

As it is, we have to do almost everything for him because he is blind and no longer moves around much.

He has started to lose a ton of weight though, eating and just walking has become more difficult.

It has been my hope that he will just pass peacefully in his sleep but so far I don't see that happening.

I had a bunch of family over this weekend who haven't seen him in awhile who recommended it is time to probably take him and put him to rest.

One of them even offered to do it while I am at work so it would be easier. I have been kind of avoiding making a decision at all and told them I would let them know after the holiday weekend.

When I went to yoga yesterday, my dog came into my mind most of the class.  At one point I remembered that part of his name means freedom.  When I was presented with this thought, I realized that freedom also means letting go; to put the end to pain and suffering.  At the end of class I laid on my mat for a bit at peace with my decision that one day very soon it would be okay to let him be free. 

When I got up from my mat to leave, I looked out the window and there was a white butterfly on the glass.

I took this as a definite sign as well that it is almost time.

He has been having a hard time with even recognizing and accepting touch lately but here is a pic he let me take of him yesterday.