So I've been struggling with a tough decision these past few days.
My pug, who is 12, seems to be off lately.
As it is, we have to do almost everything for him because he is blind and no longer moves around much.
He has started to lose a ton of weight though, eating and just walking has become more difficult.
It has been my hope that he will just pass peacefully in his sleep but so far I don't see that happening.
I had a bunch of family over this weekend who haven't seen him in awhile who recommended it is time to probably take him and put him to rest.
One of them even offered to do it while I am at work so it would be easier. I have been kind of avoiding making a decision at all and told them I would let them know after the holiday weekend.
When I went to yoga yesterday, my dog came into my mind most of the class. At one point I remembered that part of his name means freedom. When I was presented with this thought, I realized that freedom also means letting go; to put the end to pain and suffering. At the end of class I laid on my mat for a bit at peace with my decision that one day very soon it would be okay to let him be free.
When I got up from my mat to leave, I looked out the window and there was a white butterfly on the glass.
I took this as a definite sign as well that it is almost time.
He has been having a hard time with even recognizing and accepting touch lately but here is a pic he let me take of him yesterday.
Wherever I go, this seems to be the talk this week.
All I can say is I had a very rough day with my son last night at his baseball game. So while I had been saying this all week anyway about the story, I can again really relate to the mother of that little boy.
You never know what shit kids are going to pull in public.
I've also never been so embarassed and mortified after last night, and it would not surprise me if the situation ended up on our local Facebook mom's group--at the very least.
So yesterday I was out and about and ran into an old co-worker who used to torture me at my last job.
I was cordial though, and said hello, and we chatted for a few minutes.
It was interesting to me to see they are still there, despite their constant complaining about wanting to get out and find a new job. I also felt really peaceful after we parted, that I can put that part of my life to rest. I wasn't bothered by them anymore.
There also must've been something else going on in the universe yesterday too, because this woman who goes to my yoga studio, an ex-reality star in fact!, who everyone typically avoids like the plague due to her annoying behaviors....sat down by me and started chatting.
Actually normal stuff. And she even paid me a compliment.
I actually felt bad after that and this made me realize you never really know someone's full story, or why they react the way they do in certain situations.
I guess both of these encounters are proof of that.