Can I give an update?

While it's not anything earth shattering, we've decided to go with a wait and see approach in regards to DS "diagnosis".

I put diagnosis in quotes, because he's still only 5.

Since I last wrote about this, I've spoken to my family, some friends and several colleagues who all tend to have the same philosophy. 

I also was in touch with the Director of CPSE for our district, who gave me all of my options for next steps. She was pretty candid however that since he hasn't actually begun Kindergarten, it was her recommendation we wait too before doing anything else major.

I may request a meeting with the school psychologist before school begins as a precautionary measure, but I don't think we want to ask for an inclusion classroom or other types of services just yet.

And the big one----no meds for this boy right now either.  We will continue to give him melatonin at night, and I also need to set up an appt with the Ped for bloodwork to check his iron levels. Other than that, while he does continue to have issues that are apparent, they are not anything we can't deal with overall right now.

So that's that.

As for yoga? Haven't been since Saturday.

The past two days I totally made excuses. Tonight not so much as DH is still working so I'd never make it anyway.

Now I do need to focus on making it there tomorrow and Thursday.  Because the yoga is something I do have control over. The other stuff? Not so much......

Having second thoughts

Recently I wrote about a colleague recruiting me to work PT counseling for his agency. I would be able to set my own hours and the money is decent. In yoga class yesterday however, the thought of adding anything extra and new to my plate kept cropping up.

Especially with summer and nice weather around the corner.

While it's certainly nice to be bringing home an extra paycheck each month, my thoughts kept drifting to how nice it is to have downtime on the weekends and when I get home at night.

I still have to complete the paperwork and some other things and I'm not ruling it out completely, but I am definitely having second thoughts right now.

I also think I could stand to get a little more serious about budgeting from my F/T job too..........

What say you?

Do you work anywhere in addition to your primary employer? 

Do you have to work or do you just like having the extra $$$ in case like me?

Any good budgeting tips/blogs you enjoy btw?

Enjoy your Sundays.....

Yoga-ed

I yoga-ed last night. Wasn't my best class (tons of stress on my mind obviously) but the hottie eye-candy teacher was there so it made it worthwhile. SIL was also coming as I was going so we spoke a little about DS and it helped build some clarity.  I'm struggling with the whole med issue and I don't think I want to medicate just yet......her POV was to hold off for now as well.....

Diagnosis

We met with the developmental doctor today and she gave us her diagnosis for DS: ADHD combined type. 

While it has been suspected all along, I'm kind of overwhelmed about everywhere we now officially need to go.

The only thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I finally feel a sense of great relief that there's a name for this experience we've been having over the past several years---because we now have direction(s) we could potentially take with DS. 

If anyone has dealt with ADHD, and is comfortable sharing, I welcome any and all feedback. The good, the bad and even the terribly ugly. I am especially interested in hearing about someone older and how it has affected them.

Note: I can also provide you with my email if you prefer to comment privately.

I am definitely going to yoga tonight because I need to decompress.

I am sure I will share more at another time. There are so many things going through my mind, but right now I am just going to choose to sit with my feelings for a bit.

Thank goodness it's almost the weekend. I need it this week even more than ever.

Thanks so much for listening,

Lazy slacker

I haven't been to yoga in almost a week. And I know that I made excuses on some of the days I could've easily gone if I just ignored the voices in my head saying not tonight. I NEED to look at this post again tomorrow and get back to my damn mat, since I never regret that......even after the hardest class ever or gas or sleepiness or hunger or laziness or whatever else happens or doesn't happen......it's so true though: the hardest class is the one you don't go to. The end. No excuses. 

Missing my practice

I didn't go to yoga last night.

I was exhausted and felt I needed a break. At the same time, I'm feeling bummed because it's the holiday weekend and I'm not sure I'll make it to even one class because of all my other commitments. 

I know I shouldn't, but I always get this awful yoga guilt when I do not go.

I think about the money, I think about being lazy and not taking care of my body, I think about not getting this time back.....

I tell myself it's only a few more days, but I still feel badly and guilty.

Anyone else face the same feelings if you start to miss your practice days?

Do you have any wise words for me? 

As an aside, anything fun planned this weekend?

TGIF all! Only 8 hours to get through at work today!!!!

Being still

On a hot yoga forum I belong to, I recently read that someone judges whether or not they had a good class, on their ability to remain still. This resonated with me and I held this in my mind throughout yesterday's class.

While the 2nd half of floor series was a struggle (I don't think I was hydrated enough), I focused on remaining as still as possible in the postures I was able to do.

And I think it ended up being a pretty decent class.

My back has been bothering me lately so I was also taking it easy in many postures because of that. 

I'm hoping to return to my mat tonight but I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't.

I feel like I've become a lot more committed to my practice in just the past month, then I have even in all of the last year.

I love this yoga.

I've still been trying to encourage other people to go with me, but have had no luck on that end.

That's totally fine though because I love the me time and ability to focus on just myself and being still ;).

Donating

I've been cleaning out my closet and drawers these past two weekends and donating the goods. If I haven't worn in it in months, years, or ever----into the bag it has gone.

I have no regrets.

And the best part is I found a local organization who picks up and turns your goods into funds for their program.

I haven't donated any big things like furniture yet but I believe they take that stuff too.

I always have told myself I was going to do a yard sale, or give my stuff to my sister who is an eBay power seller, but honestly, both of those things are too much work.

And I feel like my things are going to a better cause.

I have my second pick up scheduled for this am.

Check them out:

BBBSLI.org

What do you do with all your stuff you want to get rid of?  Donate? Sell? Toss altogether? 

Clothing swap? I've done the last a few times and that's fun too IF you are really going to use the goods you're swapping.

Happy hump day all!

A night off

I decided to take tonight off after going to class the past two days. I had my clothes with me to hit the studio right after work, and I could still make the 8pm, but tonight I had some stuff I wanted to get done around the house. Also it's rainy and blah out, I deserve an early bedtime or at least time to lounge around and catch up on some nonsense tv. 

I don't want to seem like I'm making excuses. If I stop going to class at least 3x per week, then yes, I will know I need to reevaluate my situation because then excuses really DO tend to crop up. I know me. 

Till tomorrow.......

Yoga yesterday

My class started out pretty strong but then seemed to go downhill at points. I also had a gassy stomach for some reason, and well, you know, a little pop happened.....I don't think anyone noticed or if they did they were polite and didn't say anything LOL.

It was a teaching moment though, to laugh at myself and keep truckin' along.

Kind of like how life is (or should be).

We all have embarrassing moments that frequently happen unexpectedly. 

What has yours been in yoga or elsewhere? 

Noticeable change

I can tell the yoga is working already. My arms look less flabby. Enough that I can get away with a short-sleeve shirt for work today.  Exciting! 🙆🙅💁🎽👍💪👏

Today's yoga

My class was so good today! I finally feel like I'm getting back in the groove of things again. The instructor actually called me out two times to say good job. Once in awkward, which I'm terrible in and hate and secondly in triangle. I pushed myself hard to reach as high as I could in that pose. Then I took a little break and sat out LOL. I also had a friend join me today for her first class. I think just having her there also gave me inspiration to push through harder.  I even got all the way down in camel, which I haven't not sat out in as long as I can remember.  I'm feeling really recharged and motivated again for this practice. Ready to take on whatever comes to me this week.  Happy almost Monday y'all. Hope you got in some yoga or other good stuff just for you.

Updated resume

I decided to apply to do some limited PT adjustment and behavioral counseling cases. The hours are flexible and the pay is good. My referrals have dwindled down from my old job, and working 1:1 with people for an hour is probably less of a commitment. I'm excited! I updated my resume for my contact and sent it this morning. Wish me luck. Extra $$$ is always a good thing!

Clients who don't fit in

I am currently struggling with this issue at work right now. The client is extremely unstable psychiatric wise and the rest of my clients are not. In fact, most do not have any type of psych history. 

My program is primarily run in a group format, so they have been changing the dynamic a lot----and obviously in not a good way.

The client has had a lot of stuff happen recently and at this point, I'll admit it---I'm starting to get scared. Especially for my other clients.  I've had some gut issues come up around this person, and they've always come true thus far. 

What really sucks, is the worker managing the case is not really responsive to me and as a result, I worry even MORE about what to expect from this person. Communication is so lacking which is never good with a unstable individual.

I really want to just say the client can't come to the program until they are stable, but I do not yet have permission to do that. Plus, they do not have much support at all so my program is one of their only means of socialization. (If you can call it that). Most of the time they are isolating, require constant attention or are interrupting me to do non-program related tasks.

While they only attend a couple times a week, they are very demanding and I leave work completely drained on the days they do attend program. It's amazing how having to be on your guard all the time tires you out......

They also have done so many inappropriate things lately.....too many to even list.

Everything they've done is overall a red flag for help with a ticking time bomb.

The plus is that my students are learning at least. I have told them it's definitely important to familiarize themselves with psych stuff, even if they ultimately do not want to work with that population. This client is an example of that. And you can't get away from severe mental illness when you work with almost any population regardless of primary problem you are seeing them for.

I admit it.....I am so happy today is Friday so I don't have to deal with them for another 2 days......ugh, the joys of social work.......how has your week been?

Class tonight

SIL was supposed to join me tonight but bailed at the last minute. I still sucked it up though and went anyway. Class of course was challenging, but I went light on myself in the beginning of floor series which allowed me to push into some of my favorite poses in the 2nd set.  At one point the teacher even called me out saying "Good job!" when I kept standing bow until the end.  The only pose I really sat out for was camel. I looked around the room, which was pretty crowded, and there were about 5 or 6 other people taking it easy as well.  I'm glad I pushed myself to go today because it would've been so easy to make an excuse to stay home after I saw SIL's text. So far I'm hanging steady with getting to the studio at least 3 days a week, even if 2 of the days ARE on the weekend.  Now I'm exhausted and really need to get some sleep. Since I had off today, it seems like Friday and I keep forgetting I have to go into work tomorrow.

Update: Developmental Ped & DS lately

I just realized I haven't spoken about my son much lately. We took DS to his first appt. today with a developmental pediatrician through Cohen's Children's Hopsital, so an update is timely.  I was very pleased with the experience, although the wait time was forever (I contacted them back in early December). It makes sense though because this is the same program that works closely with preemies. I figured out that my nieces had gone here since they were born several months early.  But anyway.......he finally had his appointment so I'm content now.

The doctor talked with us about our concerns, took down some of the history and began the 1st half of the IQ testing in verbal where he scored really high.....no surprise here--- this kid is smart and I am definitely not bragging, but I often think this is at root with his issues.

She also advised us to start giving him melatonin right away to help with his sleep problems, and also recommended iron testing.

The kid really doesn't eat a whole lot of meat and drinks whole milk like crazy. Apparently, milk cancels out iron absorption according to the doctor.

She stated children with iron deficiency display a lot of the problems we mentioned seeing ongoing in DS.

I told her that DS just had his mid-year review through CPSE and they are discontinuing OT at the end of the school year. His Pre-k teacher also reports no issues.....she said he's extremely social and craves learning......often calling out answers in class. She also told us that right now he is actually on end of Kindergarten-1st grade level for most learning (whatever that means).  As of right now he will also enter Kindergarten with no services in place. We are concerned because he's only going 1/2 days now and K will be full day, starting with an early morning pre-care drop-off since we need to both be to work early, I explained to the doctor my worries about him being able to function and not have the problems in school that he has now in the afternoons and evening.

She listened to all of our points and welcomed us back in 2 weeks for his next appt. I also have more thorough paperwork to fill out about his behavior, as well as a form for his school to complete.

It continues to be a roller coaster at times of good and bad days, just like anything else, but I am hopeful that this is the right step to get to the root of the problem.....

Guess who's working late tonight?

DH. So there goes my yoga, damnit. I'm not starting my practice again on a very good foot. 

Ugh need more sleep

This week isn't really starting out on the right foot as far as that is concerned. I thought I got to bed at a decent hour last night only to be woken up twice and then of course having a hard time falling back to sleep. Today is going to be rough. Tuesday is a heavy client day at work and none of my students are in to help out. I will push through though, I always do. Yoga later? We shall see. What's on your plate for today, friends?

Accountable

I had to work late unexpectedly tonight so I didn't get to attend a yoga class like I promised myself I would in the wee hours of this morning. I'm bummed but I wanted to be done for good with this plan so the client can finally come out of the facility, and so I of course can get paid. So that was that. I still have the whole rest of the week to make it back I keep telling myself, and I did go on both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. It's hard to not get the yoga guilt when I'm trying to hold myself accountable though. Did you have anything unexpected come up today to throw a wrench in your plans?

Up early

I got up early today because I couldn't sleep. Came downstairs, made some coffee of course and threw dinner for tonight into the crockpot. I'm thinking ahead to what I have to do this week, trying to stay focused and positive. So far these are my top things:

Weather report this week looks glorious!

Pay day is Thursday!

DS finally has his appt with the developmental pediatrician and I have the day off from work on Thursday.

I organized my closet and drawers and came across so many outfits I forgot I have. Also scheduled a pickup for all the clothes I want to donate on Saturday.

DS is going upstate this coming weekend for the week to spend time with my family.

My week ahead seems pretty open in the evenings so I can yoga if I want to.

I am sure there's more I just can't think of right now since it's so early.

What are your top things to be focused and positive about this week?

Decent class

I had a decent class today. I was able to at least attempt all of the postures and only sat out in the middle of standing separate leg head to knee. But that makes sense because I pushed myself to complete both sets of triangle, as I had sat out for both in the last two classes I went to. It was also a brand new reacher today who I've never had class with, so changing things up a bit was nice. I am very much planning to attend tomorrow night's 8pm if I get a decent night's sleep tonight. I am also going to crockpot dinner during the day so I won't have that extra chore to do when I get home. Hope you all have a good work week!

Tracking some yoga

After taking a very long break after having a not so committed to my practice 2013, I decided to head back to yoga last Sunday 3/30. So far I've attended 3 classes in total and although for the most part the classes have been brutal, I'm really enjoying being back on my mat. I've been in a funk lately and also have gained a ton of weight, which hasn't helped anything. I think going back in the hot room regularly is what I need to stay motivated and remain in a good place in my head. I had all but decided I probably was not going to return again after not renewing my unlimited membership at the end of the year due to lack of use. Then, I don't know what it was, but out of nowhere last week the thought of the yoga came back in my mind.  I was sitting around not doing too much of anything, so I felt why not? I plan to go as much as I can, with at least a 3 day commitment on weeks life begins to get in the way. At some point, I also want to start going back to the gym some early mornings, to boost my weight loss. I have also slowly become more mindful of what I put in my mouth, and I'm trying to eat healthier overall.  This blog needed an update so I think I will use it to track my yoga progress. I'm actually heading off to another class in a few minutes. Wish me luck!