So mostly everyone is aware that I am leaving, although my supervisor did forbid me to really tell anyone until *he* is ready to share the news.
I get it. If employees hear of a long-term co-worker moving on (I've been at my current place for 5 years), it often breeds panic amongst the team. People get scared about everything from potential new duties they will need to take on, to lack of their own job security.
And if referral agencies know, it too can instill a sense of fear and wonder about continuing work with the company said employee is exiting from.
I have however realized that life is going to go on, with or without me. (Note: supervisor said that he would be happy to have me stay, on a fee basis to write treatment plans for him, which works well for my wallet).
I think most of my co-workers who know have already forgotten about my leaving and are on to their routine daily tasks and activities. Someone else is already taking over most of my F/T duties.
The strange thing though is that all of the higher ups are not really even addressing the fact that I am moving on. In fact, no one has even acknowledged it. While my direct boss has, he still is not really addressing it.
I don't know how to read that.
I understand it on a variety of levels, but it's still hard to go from being the go-to person most of the time, to complete silence.
I guess this is the joy of working at a for-profit. Anyone really is replaceable.
And definitely do not show any kind of emotion about it.
What I've found is that generally we don't know how to say goodbye to one another and genuinely share what we mean to each other. Often it is easier to deny it or face away from the loss. The last two jobs I left were both at about the 5 year mark; both were emotionally very taxing on me and I too remember thinking in some regards - it just seems so simple - life does go on but this seems particularly hard on me. What I identified is that both jobs had become such a part of my identity - something I cared and loved deeply and so there was a sense of grief and loss. In turn, don't let their behaviors be how you gauge your importance/role there. You will be missed (proven by the fact that they've already reached out to having you continue working on txmt plans).
ReplyDeleteWhile everyone is technically "replaceable," take heart in knowing that there is probably no one who can do the job as well as you:)
ReplyDeleteI have requested a formal face to face "exit interview" to just get some kind of closure with everything. Lately I am feeling he may even be having second thoughts about me staying on on a fee basis. I should know more next week!
ReplyDelete